Regretting Motherhood
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Krátky popis
Women who opt not to be mothers are frequently warned that they
will regret their decision later in life, yet we rarely talk about
the possibility that the opposite might also be true--that a woman
who becomes a mother might regret it. Sociologist Orna Donath
dispels the silence around this profoundly taboo subject in a
powerful work that draws from her years of research interviewing
women who wish they had never become mothers. Donath treats regret
as a feminist issue: as regret marks the road not taken, we need to
consider whether alternative paths for women may currently be
blocked off. Donath asks that we pay attention to what is forbidden
by our contemporary rules governing motherhood, time, and emotion,
including the cultural assumption that motherhood is a ",natural",
role for women--for the sake of all women, not just those who
regret becoming mothers. Donath finds that the women in her study
became mothers for a wide variety of reasons: some did so to avoid
divorce, exclusion from their family, or alienation from their
friends, others did not think about it at all, but accepted it as
the ",next step", of what society considers to be a normal and
natural life course. Others experienced regret despite initially
having an strong desire to become mothers. Though they may love
their children, these women each describe the agonizing guilt and
suffering they have experienced as a result of becoming mothers,
and consider the different ways they have each come to recognize
and deal with these conflicts. If we are disturbed by the idea that
a woman might regret becoming a mother, Donath says, our response
should not be to silence and shame these women, rather, we need to
ask honest and difficult questions about how society pushes women
into motherhood and why those who reconsider it are still seen as a
danger to the status quo. Groundbreaking, thoughtful, and
provocative, this is an especially needed book in our current
political climate, as women's reproductive rights continue to be at
the forefront of nationwide debates.
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